Poop. Everywhere. That's all I have to say.

OK, there's more: I am officially the worst mother ever. Here's the deets: I have been frantically trying to clean the house all day because my MIL is coming to visit this weekend, and, well...yeah. I am a procrastinator. Anyhow, I had Kendall in her Baby Bjorn and was leaning over trying to grab the toilet bowl swizzle stick and I heard a loud, "THUD." Then, "WhaaaAAHHHHH!!"

Yes, I had actually banged my precious, innocent baby girl's head on the wall. Now, she is ok. I, however, am permanently scarred!! I am now refusing to clean the rest of the house. Yes, I have managed to skirt the blame for the incident by making it the fault of my dirty house. Darn house- if you were clean then I wouldn't have had to clean you, and then poor Kendall's head would be without ugly raised bump!! That's it- I refuse to clean you anymore!

Well, I guess it was nothing that a good old fashioned poop couldn't fix! Right now I am doing a loud of laundry consisting of 1) her onesie, 2) the vibrating chair cover, and 3) the changing table cover. Go, Kendall! Maybe that is her way of getting back at me?! Kendall-it's not Mommy's fault! It was the dirty house, I tell you!

"How's my hair? Seriously, is it doing that thing where it's all afro on top and straight on the sides? Dang it, someone hand me my comb..."

Bahahaha. Kendall's hair is too much. I really hope that it straightens out a bit as she grows, just so she doesn't go crazy trying to deal with it like Chris' sister did when they were growing up. Both Chris and his sister have been shaving their heads for years for a reason. I'm just saying.

My sweet girl is currently upstairs napping. She is almost 4 months and nowhere near sleeping through the night. Sure, sometimes she sleeps 5,6,7 hours at a stretch. But she still wakes up at least once per night. If your baby sleeps through the night (lucky you), then I am very sorry, but I hate you. Nothing personal. Truly. I am sure you are a very nice person (rested, at least), but I will have to slap you if you continue to talk about how your 6-week-old has been "sleeping through the night" since 4 weeks old. Nothing, and I mean nothing, has ever inspired such RAGE inside my mind than that of another mother of an infant who likes to go around bragging (that's right, bragging- it's bragging!!) that their superior angel child, obviously influenced by their own spot-on parenting skills, is sleeping through the night. Lean close to the computer, closer...closer...*SLAP*! That is how I feel. I can't help it.

So please, if your child is sleeping through the night, keep it to yourself!! At least play it down some, "Oh, Johnny? He sleeps ok...sleeping through the night? No, no, nothing like that. He's still up a couple times..." Seriously, you will save friends this way.